Fears & Follow Through

I like to dream big.  Ever since I can recall, dreaming is something that just comes naturally to me.  Some people call me an idealist, but my absolute favorite thing in the last 8 years has been making those dreams become reality, no matter the size of that dream.

Generally speaking, I do well at follow-through.  Sometimes my original timing doesn’t quite add up (this may be where my idealist principles began to take over), but I will find a way to make it happen IF it means enough  to me.  Since I discovered this about myself, I had to reflect on what really does “mean enough” to me.  There are plenty of things that would rank on my list of “things that matter”, but what would be on the list that means enough to me?  To evaluate this I decided to look at what has kept me from following through in the past.  Rejection and being told “no” are the main reasons most people will not pursue their dreams. Oddly enough, those two factors are not deterrents to me.  If anything, they drive me to find a more creative alternative that will get the “yes”.  You can thank my father for that skill. Lack of current resources is another common deterrent for many, but I just see this as a challenge to find or create those resources.  Fear of failure can also keep people from running towards their dreams full force, but I would say my risk-taking persona isn’t too concerned with this one either. So, what is that thing that really just makes me say, “um, nope.”?

Weakness. Anything that reveals to me that I am weak in an area is my stumbling block. Do you know how much of an “ah-ha” moment this was for me?  Now I know what, but the super inquisitive side of me wants to know why.  After all, if I know the issue, it is best to find the root of it in order to eradicate it, right? Enter self-reflection.  As a child, I was a highly intuitive person with quite a bit of brokenness surrounding me.  This is a gift that has stayed with me all of my life, however I have learned to adapt to this part of my destiny.  I believe the emotional pain that I experienced from my own hurt and that of those around me made me view pain as something to steer clear of, something that was to be avoided at all costs.

I’ve managed to cope quite well with perceived emotional pain.  I don’t run from relationships or withdraw from intimacy with others.  In fact, I believe this has allowed me to be a more authentic person. So where does this all fit in to my life now? Fitness goals.  UGHHHHHHHH!!!! Working out hurts.  It hurts while you are doing it, it hurts the next day and sometimes, it hurts the next week.  I don’t like pain and this is one type of pain I can choose to avoid.


I want to be physically fit.  I want to live a good life and at age 37, well let’s just say things don’t come as easy as they once did.  Don’t believe me? Check in with me when you get there.  I’ll do my best not to say, “I told you so”.

I’ve done the whole -join a gym and workout thing-. I have never stuck with it more than a few months and during that time it was mainly a walk on the treadmill a day or two each week.  What even was the point in that? About a month ago, I was gifted a free membership to a local gym.  This gym is so local that I can’t even make excuses to not go.  I can literally walk there from work.  I had a few free training sessions with Adrienne  (yes, like from Rocky) and she kinda sorta kicked my butt.  I hated it.  I loved it.

So I decided that my physical fitness mattered enough to me that I would invest my time, energy, and focus into getting stronger and becoming fit.

Accountability is huge, so I found myself an accountability partner that would be in a similar stage of this fitness journey.  Lord knows if I had gotten one that was a workout extraordinaire, my weaknesses would feel even more amplified.  My accountability partner encourages me, but she also does a wee bit of complaining with me, because sometimes that is what it takes to finish that last set.

Fitness is life.  Not really.  But it kinda is.  Accountability in all areas life is a necessity.  Things get tough.  We stumble, we fail and we straight up suck it up.  An accountability partner tells you, “we will try again and this time we will do it, together.”

So, what have I learned?  Find your person.  Find your persons. Do life with them.  Let them see the good, bad and ugly.  Ask them to help you become a better person.  I promise it is worth it.

Until next time,


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